E'leia: What May I ask you a personal question? Thwak: sure E'leia: What will the caer Trolls say about your horns? Thwak: nothing...Little one, I think you ask the wrong question though... E'leia: perhaps. Can you tell me the right question? thwak: Perhaps you should ask, "What will the trolls say to me about anything?" E'leia: Oh. Will they not speak to you? . thwak: It is a bit hard to say... If they had done this, I'd be dead to them... Most likely they will consider me such anyway... Eleia: that's so unfair! You didn't do anything! . Thwak: Regardless, I am an outcast, and will not be of their clan... I am not t he correct spokesperson, regardless Eleia: You weren't an outcast when you left, were you? . Thwak: Honor is life... I lost one, and the other is nothing without it. I understand it. That is enough... Eleia: But you have not done anything dishonorable! . Thwak : Again, what you see as honor, and what I know it as are not the same... There are greater tragedies to worry your pretty head about. Thwak: There is much about my kind you perhaps cannot see. If you were to be cast off from the powers the elements give you, unable to use them at all, wouldst thou still be an elementalist? E'leia: < pauses> I don't know. I would still be myself though. Thwak:I am still Thwak... I am no longer a member of my clan though. I am not even sure I could call myself a troll. Regardless, I am perhaps the best resource you will ever see to discuss trollish honor, as I have none to defend. What I am, and what I was no longer coincide. I go forward. What's done is done honor is unlike magic... Magic you use, honor you simply are or aren't... I shall try to explain it... Honor is not what makes a troll a troll, but without it one cannot be a troll. You wear it, but cannot see it. You are more than your honor, yet you can never be more than your honor. If you lose it, you lose yourself, and you are dead to all who have it. There are tenants that are troll, some that are clan, and others that one must decide for his or herself. What to one is innocent to others may be dire. Don't ever make light of it, for that is dire to almost all. Since to lose it is death, it is worth death, especially if in death one can gain honor. You may have honor without life, but life without honor is naught. I have no clan now, but I believe I still carry honor within me. My horns are lost, but I wear it elsewhere. That where I can't figure out. I am outcast, but I am part of something bigger. In the end, I believe I can yet find greater honor than I began with. I cannot defend my former clan's honor, nor my race's, as I cannot determine whether I still belong to it. However, my personal honor, or at least what is left, I hold dear. I will not press it with you, or with most here, as I have learned that other races do out of ignorance slight it, rather than out of disdain. I am glad you wish to learn. E'leia: But you have not done anything dishonorable! Thwak: A troll's honor is never the same as another troll's, yet there are good strategies to use in determining what is WRONG to do in a situation. I will help us avoid doing the wrong things when I can, but you must learn to trust without questioning. There is usually time for questions afterward, and this applies to far more than just this example... I am no longer of my clan or race. For me to defend their honor is to slight them. It's saying they lack the capability to defend themselves E'leia: But you look like a Troll. You act like a Troll, I think Thwak: In your eyes, but to a troll I am something less Do not pity me, little one. My journey is but started, and my destiny is unknown to any. We shall see what happens. E'leia: But you didn't do anything dishonorable. You lost your horns by magic Thwak: Heh... aye, there is... grey area here... I will discuss this with my clan shouldst they choose to speak to me. The horns don't just symbolize my honor, though, they are it. To lose them means I have lost my honor from my person... There is no difference Eleia: And there is no story of horns ever having been lost accidentally? . Thwak: To have lost them through an unnatural act is not something I've heard of before. There is little knowledge of the old ways... It is possible that should I be able to return them, I will be whole again. It might also be further dishonor though. I should ponder this sometime For now, I choose not to call myself true troll, nor of my clan. I shall not even speak it's name. E'leia: They are removed when one loses one's honor? Thwak: Normally they are removed when one is found unworthy of thy race and clan I wouldst assume that most would consider this circumstance a similar statement by fate or the powers of the universe or such. Eleia: but I can witness that it was not an act of Fate. It was an act of magic. Thwak: That it was magic rather than fate may not be a point in my favor We are... were a band of 60 in a cave. This stuff didn't happen I choose to be outcast until I know there is a more correct view... Eleia: You are the first in many things, then. the first out of the caer, the first honorable Troll to suffer losing your horns Thwak: For me to claim I am honorable is a claim I make on my own I cannot prove it But Thistonious seemed to indicate such... I was confused. I think I have it now Eleia: Ah, but it isn't. You do not claim to defend the honor of a clan or race, but you do claim personal honor. You defend something--I've seen it--and you act according to what you think is Right and Necessary. That, in my eyes, is honorable . Thwak: I thank you for your kind words, but that doesn't cause it to be so. I claim I have personal honor, and may yet have to duel if I claim that inside the caer Regardless of whether I have honor, I devote myself to doing what I believe is honorable, even if but for a memory. If you wouldst believe me honorable, I appreciate it, and I must say that you might have made a good troll had nature been of a different mind in your creation. Eleia: < touched > Thank you, Thwak. A very different mind indeed but perhaps not as far as we might have once thought. Thank you also for trying to explain to me. . Thwak: It is confusing, little one, for it is a personal concept. There are those trolls who would undoubtedly fight me to the death fifty times over for what I've said and that I said it to you. There is good in you, though, and I seldom acknowledge it in an elf. Do not try to be too big, nor accept being to small. Never fear, your place in our story is undoubtedly promising. If you have questions, I will try to answer, and I will try to explain to all what I believe Speaks with Stone will want, should he live still. I need to think alone for a bit though... Short months ago I wouldn't have had this conversation. Hmm... Has been quite a time already, has it not? < smiles > We'll find a plan together... I'll stake the last of my honor on that without hesitation... Eleia: < smile > yes, we will find a plan. Thank you. Thwak: take care of yourself... Eleia: What else can I do. Good Luck to you, my friend. Thwak: and to you... friend... yes